woot² + hot.damn - bullsh*t = end of the semester

yeah. i'm happy. it's not even 3pm, and i finished the exam in 15 minutes...i don't even have to wait for the international marijuana minute to finish my semester.

i'm happy right now. then, tomorrow night, no more play. even if it's going decently for its run, i'll be happy when it's over.

now that i've got all this free time on my hands, what am i going to do?? drugs?? e, x, extacsy?? liquor?? hard liquor?? politics?? the doors are open...like a cheap whore.

oh...wait...brain orgasm coming in...
5
4
3
2
1

...

NO MORE SCHOOL UNTIL FUCKIN FEBRUARY THIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!

if you're opposed to the f-word: hot diggity darnit! no more school until february third.

i really don't know what i'm going to do for break.

it's not like i'm going to have sex. no one with whom to do that.

ugh...maybe i can go on a national promotional tour for this website...oh, wait...nevermind, i have work, so that's out of the question.

actually, hopefully i'll spend a lot of time with friends...that's the plan...and work.

(my feces)/work. that's read (my feces) over work...loosely translated: i shit on work.

here's one big fat 3(whoot²)

that's because trent lott has stepped down as majority leader. he's still a senator, but, i can deal with that.

you know, racism still runs rampant through this country. it's not just white people, it's all races. don't just single out white people on the racism issue...all races are resposible for this plague.

it's not fun being the only liberal guy, as well as only minority guy, in the cast for my show. it's kinda sad seeing how these conservo-kids react to things...like the recent christina aguilera videos. okay...i kinda understand where they're coming from on the dirrty video, but it's kinda funny that they think she's a lesbian just because she's grinding with girls in the video...it's nothing different than a high school dance...just less clothes, mud, and boxing. as for the beautiful video...they don't understand the video artistically. i see the video as a depiction of several kinds of people...all beautiful in their own ways. instead of showing what we see in the everyday videos, the stereotypically beautiful...we see those we would normally ignore or make fun of in regular life. they called the anorexic girl ugly...i just thought that was sad. and they thought that the video was offensive because of the two gay couples that were kissing in the video. i'm not gay, but i think it's a beautiful thing to see two people in love, no matter who they are. i'm sure the guys wouldn't have been complaining if it were two girls kissing. i don't know...it's just sad seeing these ignorant kids. they just don't get it.

vacation comes in a little over three hours.

niiice.

i need a break from conservatism...badly. where did all the liberals go?

most of the kids i know are only republicans because their parents are...they haven't any real opinions of their own. i've been priveledged to come from a household that hasn't sheltered me to the point of diluted political and social views. my views are my own...that's more than i can say for my colleagues in the play. at least it'll be over tomorrow night...then i won't have to hear their asanine bitching and groaning about the liberal world.

they're young, maybe i should just give them time...but, they're growing up like that too...so, then what?

we need to take responsibility for how we raise our children. will we raise them to be hateful and afraid of what they don't know? or will we raise them to be open-minded and courteous for that which they have yet to discover?

the whole trent lott situation pisses me off. as a liberal minority who lives in conservo county...it offends me. now, it isn't hard to see that the whole segregation-attitude is still generally shared by a lot of people in the south...but it's everywhere you go, not just in the south. racism is everywhere. it's sad that children are still brought up with such archaic beliefs that human beings should be separated because of their origin. it's bullshit. and it pisses me off. now, the reason trent lott got in trouble is because he got caught saying these things. imagine if he didn't get caught...his racist ass would be head of the senate majority with no problem.

it's only now that he got caught running his dumb-ass mouth off that people are having a problem with it. i have a problem with it too. as a liberal democrat, i'd like someone running the republican majority--representing my country, representing me--who doesn't mind the fact that i go to school with white people.

i really hope that lott steps down, or that his colleages vote him off. it's pretty bad when you've offended everyone, including fellow party members.

but hey...maybe if we elected strom thurmond, i wouldn't have this problem. i wouldn't be going to this nice university...i'd be going to the minority university...and underfunded dump with shitty textbooks, where the buildings are falling apart. i'm sure that's what trent lott wanted.

he can apologize all he wants. he's apologizing for getting caught. it still would have been on his mind if he didn't say it. the damage is already done. can't take back what already has been done.

this ignorance plagues our society so badly. will it never stop?

when i say hey, you say ho.
since we're on the internet, we'll use the honor system.

hey.

hey.

i've got a nice whopping 8 1/2 hour shift at wonderful target. isn't that just fucking splendiferous?

i wanna get my freak on. get my freak on. get my get my get my get my freak on.

i also wanna work it. yes, i can work it. i wanna put my thing down flip it and reverse it. .ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup annaw i .ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup annaw i

is there anything missy elliott isn't good for?

if missy elliott were president, and timbaland were chief of staff...we wouldn't have these international problems, osama's head would explode from the funky technological hip-hop beats, strom thurmond and trent lott would be shake-shakin their asses while watching direct effect on mtv, and tracy morgan would have more stuff to do on snl. we wouldn't have all these problems we have today.

snl is such a great show now that i think of it.

i want money...big bundles of money for christmas. i also want hoes. hoes and money for christmas. can that be pulled off?

i just heard that josh v. is coming down soon. i didn't know. i haven't talked to him in a long time. we used to be best friends...but, i think that kinda dwindled by the second half of senior year, and the first semester of our respective colleges. i wonder if we'll see eachother...or if he'll even give a shit about me.

i really want to start a band, or something. i wanna find out how to start scouting talent.

the kind of band i want to produce would be freakin versatile. we'd ride the borders of hip-hop, pop, rock, soul, and garage...and i'd like it to be a band...not just a pop performing group (that'd be a side project, if anything), but a band...live instruments and shit...because music sounds better with live instruments...compare jay-z to jay-z performing with the roots...one of these is more interesting and more pleasing to the ear. live music has this sophistication to it...mix it with hip-hop, or even pop, and a song sounds so much cooler and better.

anyways...yeah, i want a band.

okay...the last entry was a little buggy...i meant to say that i'll remove the counter from the poetry site due to it's ugliness on the page...it kinda just sticks out like a sore thumb, and i can't move it.

i haven't anything else interesting to say...so, i'mma bail.

ta-ta.

semester tuition for school: $950.00
parking for one semester: $98.00
finishing your math final exam an hour and fifteen minutes early: priceless.

math final=cake, one slice.

so...i've really been wondering if this site gets any traffic at all, aside from my daily visiting, so i put a traffic counter on this site...i also put one on my poetry site, but i don't find it aesthetically pleasing at all, so i might just remove it from the posted by nate @ 3:50 PM  0 comments

two more finals to go. after 4:20pm today, one more. after 4:20pm, no more.

i'm just killing time right now at school...after finding a crap parking spot, i figured i'd go check my webpage, and update it.

i wonder if anyone really ever reads this thing anymore.

i'm guessing all the stress/depression entries scared everyone off or something.

whatever.

this is more of an outlet for my thoughts/knowledge/feelings, not so much a thing for an audience...that's what my poetry page is for.

vacation will be nice. i wanna find some new year's eve plans damnit.

i hate the rain. i used to like it a lot...but now, it's like...i can't drive stupidly when it's raining...it's just not safe. i like the wind, and i like cold weather...but damnit, the squeaky squeak freakin squeak of my shoes against the floor, wet clothes (w/o sex), and stupid drivers really ruin it for me.

ugh, i need something to do.

woot².

i just got out of my voice and movement final 10 minutes ago...it was expected to be my worst final...and, yeah...it was pretty rough...but, it didn't sodomize me too badly...(wonderful metaphor, i know).

one down. two to go.

i want to start a music group/band/songwriting firm/whatever the kcuf it may be/song-thing-something. from there, i'd like to start a blog to promote the mg/b/sf/wkmb/sts, just to journalize each member's experience with the mg/b/sf/wkmb/sts...

i'm busy trying to figure out whether or not that i just want to make this creation as an excuse to have a team-blog, or to selfishly promote my music, or selfishly make musicwriting easier...all i know is that i want to create it.

what you know is the only thing that matters.

what you think is what keeps you from knowing.

finals week. it starts for me. how i'll get through my finals, i don't know. i know this seems stereotypically asian of me, but my math final is my easiest one...my two theatre finals have the potential of an ass-whupping. i think the stereotype is aided by the fact that two of my three meals, yesterday, consisted of rice in one form of another.

luckily, i have no more than one final per day...and i have some space in between...and except for today, my finals are in the afternoon. not too shabby.

i saw megan zini yesterday morning...completely random meeting...it was cool.

ass!

booty!

derriere!!!

(deep breath...sigh)
okay.

holy poop! christmas time is herre.

holy feces! vacation time is coming!

holy trent lott! the new year is coming!

yeah...i think senator trent lott is shit.

you see, i was just winging it. --sen. trent lott

so he was saying what was on his mind...and what was on his mind was that he wanted segregation...well, (sarcastically) thank goodness it wasn't a pre-written speech, then you wouldn't have meant it.

al gore is still stiff as a board...but he proved he could be funny too...and macking his wife on national television for a good 7 minutes helped.

so...i'm still in search of...

whatever.

it's kinda crazy...thinking of the way i live, the things i say...the things i do...compared to the things i want to say, the things i want to do, the way i want to live.

now, they shouldn't be two completely different things...but, they almost are.

so, being white wouldn't be a solution...it wouldn't necessarily make things easier.

i've been looking for excuses as to why i think my life is so pathetic...looking for a way out...instead of persuing an answer and solution.

i've decided to seek answers to the questions in my life. i've decided to seek out solutions. in this, this will take me in the direction that i've wanted my life to go.

i want to let go of what i think...and grasp what i know.

i think too much.

i'm at my best when i'm not thinking...i'm at my best when i know.

i ask too many questions to myself...i don't ask enough questions to the world.

like a performing artist who isn't happy with his personality, i feel that it's time to re-invent myself.

when i say this, i don't mean change my personality, but...re-vamp the way that i live my life.

i've doubted myself way too much in life.

i am somebody.

that's what i need to keep telling myself...i am somebody.

if i died in the next sixteen seconds, and looked back on my life...would i be happy? would my checklist of things to complete be done?

no.

i live life in fear of the next moment. i live in fear of consequences.

i've never really take a grasp of anything in my life. i always have this reticent approach to things...then i'll dive in. i'm tired of playing it safe.

i'm tired of not living by my word. i feel like a fraud to myself...ya know?

always saying that i'll travel to the moon and back for love, but never doing it.

but, i'm confined. i'm confined by time, location, ethnicity, personality, body-type...

as much as i'd love to say that my present life is a bad dream, and that i could wake up in the next sixteen seconds in a new dream, a better dream...i know it's not realistic.

so, i've gotta make the best of the worst.

i've gotta restructure of my life...and focus my energy on that which has always made me happy...and try to see if those things really make me happy, and see if there are other things that will make me happy.