mood//really.good.in.the.hood
music.currently.playing//funk.mix

so...yeah...i go to class, and it turns out that class was cancelled! i was pretty psyched...a little let down because i'm low on gas and i came to school for, essentially, no reason...but, i made the best of it. i spent what would have been class time getting to know a few of my other classmates...we just sat around eating donuts talking about stuff in the music lounge, and it was fun, really fun. it was enjoyable...i wish that i talked more, i stayed relatively silent the whole time, but, i didn't know what to say to jump in...but, whatever...it was really cool just hanging out with them.

anyways...yeah...since i'm almost broke and almost out of gas, i don't think i'll be doing much at all in the next week or so...i really need money...at least i get paid tomorrow...which might as well be monday...damnit.

oh...and i'm feeling damn good.

you know, considering the implications...it may very well be a bad thing to think of the words Goddamnit when you think of work, especially when you work for a christian non-profit organization, right? hmm...

i really don't know if i'm meant to be working for who i am working for. they see me for something that i don't see myself as. i'm guessing that whatever they see in me may very well exist, but, i don't know. my life has very much of a secular pull, i'm a worldly person, with my own spiritual beliefs...but then there's my company's spirituality, and, well...i end up saying shit over and over again in my head until i'm done with work. it's like i'm from a completely different world...and i don't want to be brainwashed or anything, but i feel like that's what they're going to end up trying to do to me. i am more than willing to put my trust in the Lord, but not in my boss...so...that's where my conflict is...does God really want me at this job?

we'll find out once i start teaching hip-hop...'cause i need the money. i'd better be getting that per student addition...i'll be uber-pissed if i don't. i just don't trust my boss.

mood//good
music.in.head//song #13 : the ataris
wearing// faded carps / heather grey hollister SoCo shirt / white and tan vans / glasses

okay...so...i passed out in bed at like 7 last night to find myself waking up at 12:45 in the morning feeling hella good...except for the sore throat...but, i was still pretty damn happy anyways.

now, my sore throat is going away...so...woo-who.

i really am getting impatient with my job...but, it might be getting good soon. i might be getting a hip-hop class to teach fairly soon, and i'll have an assistant...so, i'm pretty psyched about it...so, maybe i won't need the second job anymore...the thing i don't like is that i've been getting my paychecks on saturdays...which is completely useless to me, since banks don't process anything on the weekends, so my money just sits there useless for a few days...my gas tank is almost empty, i have no money to fill it up...i'm really hoping whatever i have in my tank will last until tomorrow afternoon (when i hope i can get a little cash out of the check).

i'm feeling really good right now physically, and emotionally. i'm not going to push it today, i told my boss i'm going to rest, since i've practically busted my ass for her this past week...she keeps on pushing me to do shit that i really can't do because i am ill, and it really pissed me off this week. i was on the verge of quitting...but, since i will probably get the hip-hop class, i'll back off.

i don't like my boss that much. she didn't care that i was sick, and didn't take into account that i was sick for any of the tasks that she had planned for me to do...it really pissed me off. the paycheck thing pisses me off too. but, whatever. i'm getting paid anyways. fine.

holy shit!! the ataris are doing an in-store at tower records @ brea at noon tomorrow...i think i might go after the rehearsal i'm leading...hmm...i also want to get their new cd...i have end is forever, which is awesome...but, yeah..

i need to learn money management...

you think i'm just a kid but
you don't fucking get it.
i'm strong in my conviction
and don't you forget it.
-- the ataris : song #13

where//mainframe.computer.lounge@csufullerton
mood//good
currently.playing//hip-hop.mix
garments// cargos / yellow.polo.with.broad.blue.stripes / white.tan.kicks / glasses

i had a re-lapse of the headaches yesterday when i got home...it must be what superman feels like when he gets near kryptonite, because everytime i get one of these headaches, i think i'm going to die. i just hope i don't get another one...i also hope i can rid myself of this tedious sore throat.

i'm starting to think that i should get a haircut soon...it has been fun growing my hair out...but, it's gotten to the point where it's almost just scruffy. my sideburns are pretty damn thick right now. maybe i just need to get a trim, or something...

in my english class, our next essay assignment is a profile essay, where we have to interview somebody interesting and profile them in an essay (like mtv true life, or 20/20). i have a few ideas in mind...i could try using one of my friends as a topic and interview them, i have a couple friends in mind for that...or, i could try and get in contact with whoever owns the new adult bookstore in yorba linda...i mean, an essay about lingerie and porn shop always has interesting implications. my teacher really stressed that we make the essay very interesting...i'm having a difficult time on deciding to interview the slacker, the guy who was at a music video shoot, or the person that owns an adult bookstore in a very conservative area. well...i have some time to think this over.

being sick really takes a lot out of you...it literally sucked all the energy out of me...ugh...so tired...so hungry...it's hard when you get hungry, but being sick takes away your appetite for everything.

all this shit about the war is so damn depressing. it just seems like war is inevitable by now...but i still don't want it to happen. when the motives seem so misguided, war really seems wrong. ughh...

i could be your best bet
let alone your worst ex
-- taking back sunday : bike scene

at//titan.student.union@csufullerton
mood//smiles.and.stuff
music.in.head//m+m's : blink 182
wearing// dark.cargos / light.blue.striped.hollister.polo / white.tan.kicks / denim.jacket

yay...the rain has gone away.

i think i'm almost completely recovered...i'm still coughing, and i have a slightly sore throat...but, i'm almost well. at least i don't have the hellish headaches anymore...those sucked.

i think i'm gonna get paid this week...i'm gonna give my bill to my boss tonight, and hopefully i'll get a check tomorrow...hopefully.

sleeping wasn't too bad last night...i almost got a good night's sleep...but, i kept waking up every hour...it was hella annoying...but, whatever.

my love life was getting so bland
there are only so many ways i can make love with my hand
-- blink 182 : m+m's

location//mainframe.computer.lounge@csufullerton
mood//good
currently.playing// come.into.my.world : kylie.minogue
wearing// dirty.denim / grey.ribbed.sweater / plaid.charcoal.zip-up.jacket / black.tan.kicks

i really need money...soon.

i've been feeling a little better...the headaches and bodyaches aren't so unbearable...i can actually get some sleep.

is it a bad thing that i find very little comfort in my own room? i can barely sleep happily in my own room...i don't know why. i just don't like my room...oh well...

i don't think i should have done my chemistry lab today, in my condition. seriously, i'm still suffering from minor-headaches and light-headedness...i probably shouldn't even be driving in the rain...just kidding.

i can't believe i got through today...kinda. i had major papers due this morning, and i spent so much of yesterday evening recovering that i plum forgot about the shit. but, i got it done...kinda. i'm surprised that i turned in what i did...not too shabby.

ugh...time to go home...maybe i'll clean my room...in my illness, i kinda wen't apeshit on my room and everything is a shambles.

i don't know if i'm going to go to tryouts tonight...i'm supposed to oversee a set of auditions tonight for impact, the people i work for, it's a performing arts group...but, i don't know if i'm up to it right now...we'll see. i do need money though...

shake ya ass. watch yourself.
-- mystikal : shake ya ass

location//mainframe.lounge@csufullerton
everything else//same.as.before

so...yeahh...i'm pretty convinced that i can blame my illness on the hepatitis b vaccination...how weird, something that protects you from illness gives you another one...damn you nature.

so, i got through my voice and movement class alright...i don't feel as crappy...but, i just hope i didn't get anyone sick...that's my number one concern right now...oh well.

you know it'd be uber-cool if i had anything meaningful to write about...but, i don't...being out of commission for a weekend will do that to you.

i'm so boring.

a beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking jack and coke all morning. she can make you feel high.

full of the single greatest commodity known to man: promise.
promise of a better day.
promise of a greater hope.
promise of a new tomorrow.

this particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl.
in her smile.
in her soul.
the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's gonna to be okay.
-- michael rappaport's monologue from beautiful girls
used as an intro to great romances of the 20th century : taking back sunday

location//titan.student.union@csufullerton
feeling//like.craaaaaaaaaap
music.in.head//at.your.funeral : saves the day
wearing//faded.denims / tan.striped.hollister.polo / red.hollister.zip-up.hoodie / white.tan.vans

being sick sucks ass. seriously.

i started battling the flu friday evening...probably when my hep. b vaccination completely got in my system. i'm thinking that the flu is a side-effect of the vaccination...if so, whatever...it sucks.

chris thinks he got me sick by hanging out with him on thursday...i doubt it...because i was feeling fine.

the only reason i came to school is because i have a performance in my class today...and i missed that class on friday...so...yeah.

i really feel like shit.

yesterday was kinda cool...i got text-messaged by a couple girls i hadn't heard from in awhile...it was nice to know they were thinking of me, it was a nice refresher while i was sick.

i thought that i was getting better yesterday, after going out for some fresh air and then having a slurpee...but, by the time i got back home, i felt like shit again...and i still do. so...damnit.

so sick, so sick of being tired.
and oh so tired of being sick.
-- taking back sunday : you know how i do