May 02, 2003

//p.lace//underground
//mo.od//really_good
//a.te//breakfast_burrito

//((seriously))_you.need_to_[see]*this-movie
so...a few days ago i finally got my ass out to the movie theatre and saw better luck tomorrow...and, i walked out of that theatre thinking wow.

at that point, it wasn't so much about it being an asian-american film, or hoping it'd be a good asian-american film...simply put: it was an awesome film.

it was a very well written script, and a very well edited and shot movie...the director, justin lin, did an awesome job at capturing the moment of every scene as told through the eyes of the main character: ben. you really got to feel what he's feeling, you really got to think what he's thinking...

the subject matter was quite heavy, but it still managed to be funny...

simply stated: awesome fucking film.

aside from all that, it has given me new ideas of what i'd do if i had a house of my own.

//2day_is.going_2be_a.((nice))day
because yesterday was a nice day.

okay...so, rewind for a second...

yesterday afternoon i went over to sara's house to hang out w/her, and (initially) to meet her parents--which never happened, but, oh well. but...yeah, so we hung out and had fun, i helped her out with some college stuff that she needed to take care of...we ended up playing gran turismo on her ps2...it just seemed like a good moment, so i ended up kissing her...and you know what? it was nice.

after that, all those feelings of me being weirded out about stuff sort of washed away...and it was cool.

but, yeah...today we'll be going to disneyland/dca (work...but not working)...so, it's cool...we'll have fun...and, hopefully, weather permitting, we'll be going to the beach and have dinner at ruby's...something i've been wanting to do for awhile.

yay for today.

i was at a day spa: d-a-i-y-e.
--derek zoolander. he's so hot...but not as hot as hansel.

May 01, 2003

//where_a_am//somewhere_you're.not
//f.eel.ing//half-not-bad + half-played-for-a-fool
//s.ong_in_hea.d//saints and sailors : dashboard confessional

//[this]_is*where_i_say~i've.had(((enough)))
okay...so...last night was karaoke night and all...fun stuff. almost.

let us just say these facts, the good with a [+], the bad with [-], and the neutral with [n]:

[+] i sang two songs: dope nose and peaches and cream (no one was around for peaches and cream)

[+] i relaxed my voice.

[+] chris, sean, thomas, and stacey were there.

[n] audra was there...she used to be my best friend until...

[-] her fiancee was also there...don't care much for him.

[+] sara called me.

[-] still felt weird about the fact that someone could possibly be interested in me.

[-] candace was there.

[n] with a guy.

[-] but it wasn't her boyfriend.

----okay...to clear those last three facts up, i had a crush on candace, but she had a boyfriend that she was semi-serious with...it would have been a better night if i'd seen her with the boyfriend...but, it just felt really insulting to see her with some other guy.

all i could think in my head are these two things:
1//that bitch.
2//i feel about this small ----> .

//[no.one]*should_ever((feel-the-way))_that*i*feel_now
i'm not really going to feel bad about the shit...because it's just kinda stupid to feel anything for some bitch who is going to play me for an idiot.

besides...there is someone out there that digs me, and i'll be going to prom with her later this month...and we'll see how that goes...

i'm just taking everything one day at a time. i don't want to stress anything...i hope she doesn't stress...because, i still want to keep my doors open. but...whatever...this thing just started.

you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor,
and your eyes say the joke is on me
.
--dashboard confessional : saints and sailors

April 30, 2003

//w.here-a.bout//here, there...definitely not everywhere
//f.eel//half-good
//s.ong_in_m.ind//none of my friends are punks : allister

//[ink]+the.first_15((minutes))-of*the^day
okay...so, i did my laundry last night, and fell asleep while the last load was drying...not a bad thing.

okay...so, i woke up this morning a little early, so i fluffed my last load of laundry and went back to sleep...not a bad thing.

okay...so, i woke up again this morning and started to retrieve my last load and saw a bunch of spots all over my clothes...a bad thing?

okay...so, i check the rest of my clothes and see that everything has spots on it...a bad thing.

okay...so, i check the dryer and i see an open ink-pen lying there...definitely a bad thing.

needless to say streams of four-letter words we said and i think i started to make up some new curse words in my haze of rage.

my parents said to spray my clothes with spray n wash stain remover...but, i think that the shit was set...but, it's a last ditch effort...so, i'll find out if the spray n wash really worked with the extra wash.

i think the things that really pissed me off were:
1//my new shirt got inked.
2//all the pants and jeans i usually wear got inked.

i didn't really care about the other clothes that got inked, it was my dark load--but you could still tell...but, yeah--the new shirt? not cool. the pants and jeans? not cool...but, whatever...

i can just go down and get new jeans, new pants, and another new shirt...

it could have been worse...really, it could have been.

if my clothes are completely ruined beyond repair, there really isn't a thing i can do about it anymore, so there isn't any use complaining.

if the ink washes out, rock on.

but...whatever...i'm kinda just whatever about it.

funny how i was really pissed an hour-and-a-half ago.

oh well...life goes on and i've got a whole day to go live out.

so here we are now...
a sip of wine, a sip of water.

--jimmy eat world : if you don't, don't

April 29, 2003

//w.here//over here...throwing peanuts at unsuspecting victims
//moo.d//half-decent...half-worried...half-crazy...that's three-halves, that's why i'm more than a man.
//song_in_h.ead//like a stone_by_audioslave
//wh.y//because i was watching mtv and it was the last song on before i left home.

//if_i/am-((loo.king))_f.or*[f.un]
sara is really cool...she seems really excited that i'm going to her prom with her...and we're going to be going out this friday...and that's cool...i'm excited too...

but...

(with me, there's always the but)

i think that there's a problem with me...maybe i'm just looking to far into this...i don't know...

i'm still looking to keep my options open and everything...

i think she's genuinely interested in something serious with me, while i'm not interested in seriousness...at least not yet.

i don't want to be insensitive or anything...but...hey, i could be looking to far into something that is just in my head...

maybe that male bug that makes you afraid of commitment has finally spawned within me...

i just don't think i'm sold on getting into a commital-like relationship with anyone now-a-days...not yet...not now...
(ughh...i couldn't think of a different word...sold seems like such a cheapeningly insensitive word).

but, you know what?

i think we'll just have mad fun on friday...because i'll be disappearing within the next few weeks, and we probably won't be able to see eachother again until prom...

by then, i'll have time to think...but, i'll probably still be thinking by the time prom rolls around...since this friday will be our first date, like, ever.

i don't know...i'll talk to her about this.

i never thought i'd be one of those jerks that women complain about.

i think it's worse to be a jerk who has the emotional capacity to feel guilt.

but...screw the guilt for now, i never get to have fun with women...now i have this chance...i'm just going to try to push thoughts to the side and let this ride for the moment. i'm gonna have fun for once.

dance your cares away *clap clap*
save worries for another day.
let the music play *clap clap*
down in fraggle rock.

--fraggle rock : allister does an awesome cover of it!!!

//[this]-or_((that)).tues/day
The *Take Comfort* Edition

Which is more comforting for you...
1. Lying down on the couch, or stretching out on a recliner?
couch...besides, it's a more conventional make-out spot.

2. Going barefoot or wearing soft slippers?
barefoot.

3. Eating ice cream, or pizza?
ice cream...mm...gotta go to cold stone now.

4. Watching on TV...a classic movie or a reality show?
i'm a real world/road rules kid...so, it's gonna be a reality show.

5. Wearing: blue jeans or sweat pants?
blue jeans...5 out of 7 days of the week, i'm probably wearing jeans.

6. A long, soothing bubble bath or a quick, invigorating shower?
a quick, invogorating shower...gotta go out and do stuff that leads to long, soothing showers with other people.

7. Furniture: leather, or something more on the fuzzy side?
fuzz...yeahh...fuzz...because it has the same first two letters as another one of my favorite four-letter words.

8. Soft, classical music, or upbeat rock & roll?
upbeat rock. r o c k...maybe some roll.

9. Darkness or light?
darkness.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You get married, or otherwise begin cohabitating with a significant other. S/he moves into your place, but brings with them the UGLIEST chair you have ever seen! You really don't want this thing in your home, but SO says it is the most comfy chair s/he has ever sat in, and no way will they part with it. Do you: grin and bear it, or scheme to get rid of the montrosity somehow?
well...i like to live my life as if i am actually in a sit-com...so, i'd probably come up with a scheme to get rid of it in 24 minutes time...and we'll all have a laugh and forget about it because something else equally ridiculous will occur next week.

April 28, 2003

//lo.cale//fullerton in the heezy.
//emo.tion//it's all g-to-the-double-o-d, good.
//word.s//emotion is dead.
//f.rom//title of an album by the juliana theory

//turn_of_[e.vents]
just when you thought you were single...

yeahh...so, this guy does this play a few months ago...the holiday season...and, he meets a girl...and they've got chemistry...but she's got a boyfriend...this is all but a too familiar story for the guy.

yeahh...so, this guy is sitting at home thinking about all things that really don't work out for him with women: the ones that don't call, the ones that don't call after running behind your back after a great date, the ones that are taken, the ones that won't talk to him anymore.

yeahh...so, this guy gets a call from one of the kids who did the play saying that the girl was wondering if the guy would go to prom with her...guy is happy, doesn't know if he can because of his schedule, but gets the girl's number.

yeahh...so, this guy calls the girl, the girl he met doing the play, and then picks her up to get some ice cream. and the girl asks the guy to her prom.

yeahh...so, this guy and this girl are going to prom in a month.

good times, good times.

i kinda feel like i'm beating the system...like i'm beating the natural course of events that usually circulates my life...things just take time...i didn't even expect this at all...it's a sweet and pleasant blindside.

it was kinda funny, when i was picking sarah up to get ice cream (at cold stone, the best ice cream ever), she gave me a tour of her house...and she forgot to put away her prom dress. lucky for her, i'm not that perceptive and i didn't notice it hanging behind me...

i'm excited for prom...even it's the one my old high school's rival...i never had that much school spirit to begin with.

yay for prom~!

//ran.dom_not.a.tion
[~]be kind.

[~]rewind.