whoo...today is the written (or bubble-in) portion of my ballet final. i might do well, i might not...it's all multiple choice...so, that ain't shabby.

rehearsal last night wasn't horrible. it wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. we open this weekend, and close next weekend. i'll be happy when we close. rehearsal was kinda fun last night. i'll admit it. it was fun.

i've been feeling better lately, but i'm still shaking off these low points. like, when i got home from school, to driving to rehearsal, to the first hour of rehearsal, i felt dead inside. i had no energy, i didn't want to go, i wanted to be sleeping, or lying, in bed. i didn't want to get outside. if i had any less energy, i probably would have crashed my car on the way to rehearsal. i couldn't focus well while i was driving. maybe it was the pain-killers (aleve) inside of me (i had a wristache, a severe one...it perpetually comes and goes). i'd taken more aleve than suggested, but i justify it by the pain i'd been going through.

i stopped feeling like shit at some point, i think it was when i started beat-boxing while some kids from the villa park choir started singing some traditional music...it sounded funky, but cool.

i didn't audition last weekend. i think it's a good thing, less on my plate for next semester. i need less. i'm going to try and drop a lot of the committments i have, so i can regain my sanity...i think i lost it somewhere along the way.

i'm going to try and drop the song and dance performing arts group i'm in after the holidays. i frankly don't want to do much next semester, i just want to focus on getting these gen. eds done, and recuperate from all this stress (depression?).

i love having so much energy during the day...it's great...but, when i hit the low energy point, it's almost physically dehabilitating...it's like i'm almost immobile.

it's kinda uncomforting to look at your mcdonald's drive thru reciept, and to see on the top, it's not just mcdonald's, but mcdonald's corporation...that added word just seems dirty. it taints the quality of what you've just bought. i know it's obvious that all of it is mass produced...but, when you come out and say it...it makes it seem dirtier.

barbaranizzle, it's all good. i'm not pissed about it.
tiff, i miss talking to you too.
mig, i am counting up.
i know that i'm crazy. but what would my poetry be with my sanity? (smiles)