i just had my first final today...or half-final...whatever. it was the practical part of my ballet final...yeah, that means a dance combination. i had this goofy-ass smile throughout the whole thing...and i think i did pretty decently. so, i'm pretty satisfied with it. thursday is the written final, so i need to find out what all those french words mean. i was actually excited to take this final, and be at school. i haven't been excited about anything lately...it was pretty nice having positive energy run through my aura for once.

actually being out of the house, not at work, not at rehearsal, but being at school is re-energizing my positive spirit.

so...all this shit i've been going through might just be stress. it's a relief...a temporary relief, but, a sort of relief nonetheless.

i've been trying to focus on positive things right now...however i can find them.

right now i'm doing further research on depression, manic-depression, and stress...to see what has been going on.

i'm in a decent mood right now. but, i've got work tonight. a rehearsal tomorrow and wednesday. work thursday. how friday and saturday. i don't know how this will effect me emotionally.

right now...i'm feeling pretty decent...so, i'm hoping things will stay this way...i don't want to fall again. not like i did last night...or a couple nights before then, or the night before that, et cetera. happiness...that's all i want, and all those little things that entail happiness. that'd be nice.