//emo//awesomely.awesome
//song//eight of nine (acoustic) : the ataris
//quote//hold high hopes, not high expectations.

//[unexpected]twist.of*fate
the last time that i posted, i pretty much stated my disdain for the holiday season. this week, surprisingly, has served as a prelude to what i hope is a december to remember.

by the beginning of this week, i'd all but given up on anything having to do with love and the holidays.

okay...so tuesday night at work...i walked in with a pretty horrible mood. i saw all the holiday decorations, the big holiday tree and everything...and it just reminded me off all the holidays before that--which are not fond memories for the most part. but...something happened tuesday night that i really did not expect.

[old rule] i won't be attracted to disney girls, or at least girls who work disney attractions, or at least not indy girls.

well...that old rule is bending, bending, broken...shattered at the least. having been advised by two people to throw that rule out, tuesday's revelation seemed to advise me to do so. il and sica advised me to not set up that boundary because i'll never know when i'm passing up a good thing...so...hey, who am i to question advice like that?

anyways...back to tuesday. long story short because i don't feel like leaving the details to every so-and-so that browses this journal...i met a girl named tasia and she's really cute, really cool, really nice...and i'd like to get to know her more. i didn't really waste any time in starting to talk to her and whatnot. that night i met her, i felt really lucky because i had a lot of opportunities to work with her and talk to her...which was really cool.

am i expecting anything to happen? as lessons have taught me, no, i', not.

am i hoping something will happen? oh yes. i am very hopeful. but, we'll find out as time goes by and we'll see how getting to know her works out.

the thing is...i haven't had a crush/attraction like this in a long time. i feel like i'm in high school middle school again--but this time, it's not fifty girls that i have big crushes on--it's just this one. it's fun...but kinda scary at the same time--i haven't felt this vulnerable in a long time. i'm really putting myself out there...but, sica said if you never let yourself be vulnerable, you'll never feel love. it's a different feeling than anything i've felt in a very long time. it's exposed a very human side to me...a side i haven't shed for awhile...but, it's good.

all this has given me hope for the winter. it's a glimmer.

it's funny when kamilah talks about winter couples, she says so-and-so has this guy, another so-and-so has his girlfriend, and i've got tasia. my usual retort is that i don't really have tasia...but, i don't know...it's something i smile about.

//thanksgiving
so, i spent my thanksgiving evening at megan o's house, and it was fun...and sort of nostalgic. it just really reminded me of my earlier childhood, when i was really little. megan reminds me of my mom. megan's 22, and she's got a little 22-month-old. my mom was younger when she had me...when i was little, it was me, my mom, and my grandmother living in a house. meg lives with her little one, two little sisters, and mother...and it was really nice meeting all of them. i think the reason why i like having megan as a friend is the fact that she reminds me a lot of my mom...really smart, really strong...it's nice to have a friend like that. it really reminded me of old times with my family because i was, once again, the only male there.

//wish
with hopes that i've recieved an early holiday wish...i wish everyone a happy holiday season.

//p.s.
i love australians.