//emo//emo
//song//the seed : cody chesnutt

//things.that[suck]
wednesday night's date, to put it nicely, sucked.

say, nate, why do you say it sucked?
well, anonymous inquirer, it sucked because
[a] there was no chemistry
[b] in turn, it was a night of awkward silences
[c] in the end of it all, my car started acting up--so damn random.

parts a and b just made the night horrendous. part c just added insult to injury. i'm sure that the girl i went out with, (non-indy) nicole, is a great girl...it just wasn't happening. and it sucked. no common ground really...except for the fact that we both wanted to see love actually...aside from that...it was not a highlight reel night.

i started to think that maybe it was just me. i mean...this was my first date in a few months...since summer ended...since the last time i'd felt any significant chemistry with somebody.

i miss that chemistry. you can't make that kind of chemistry...it's just there.

//the[sad.math.of.chemistry]
i tried working it out in my head...and okay...let's say, out of all the people in my preferred age range (18-21) make up 100%. okay, now, let's narrow it down to my sexual preference: women, that makes 50%. now, let's narrow it further, i'm physically attracted to about, one in four girls. that makes 12.5%. out of all the people i've dated, i've only maintained a significant chemistry with one three out of ten. that makes only a 3.75% chance that i'm going to find a desirable chemistry with a girl around my age. that's less than one out of every twenty-five people that i bump into around my age range. but...we need to narrow that down further, because i only end up getting the nuts to ask out one out of every, about, twenty-five girls i meet (i'm being generous to myself here). that makes the grand total of 0.15%. theoretically, i'm only supposed to find chemistry with one, maybe two, people, out of every thousand that i meet.

um...i don't know if i'm supposed to look at this with an optomistic point of view, or if i should be as startled and pessimistic as my gut feeling tells me.

yeah...i know i'm overthinking it...but seriously folks...i really hope this theory is out of wack.

//TEN.day
umm..okay. even though my car is giving me a lot of crap, transmissionwise...and i'm recovering from the date from dullsville. i did get to see an awesome movie...and i have even more reason to be in an awesome mood today...

the early november is gonna be all over orange county today. so, right after school, i'm planning on jetting to chapman to see their free show at 1pm. after that...jet over to the attic in anaheim to catch their acoustic set which starts at 4:30...but, i might get there hella early so that i can get a decent parking spot. afterwards...head next door after getting dinner? maybe? i don't know...since the show doesn't start until 7pm.

anyways, this is my happy little indie/emo day...and i'm flying solo for the most part...with a car that won't go beyond first gear. yes...today will be a good day to listen to music that will help me purge my depressions, aggressions, and all overcoming emotions. 'twill be a great day.

il assured me that a lot of people go to shows alone...so...i think i'll have some fun tonight.