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//linger_some.thing_lingers
cliche coming...

yeah...so, i don't feel guilty about sara anymore, since that got taken care of yesterday...

but, i'm still feeling guilty about something, now that i realize why i don't want to be hurt anymore--why i don't want to hurt anyone else either.

there's a guilt that lingers...a 9-month-old guilt that lingers and comes back every now and then...like a disease, a ill-timed relapse.

just because you think and feel that you're over something doesn't really mean that you're over it...it's always kinda there.

i don't know how to make it go away.

at least i've decided to remain single so as not to dump this shit on anyone else.

i don't know what feels worse:
//knowing that i've had nine months (and then some) to let go.
//thinking i've let go, but realizing that i really haven't.
//leaving her without giving her all the reasons.

//am_i_denying_it...or_not?
okay...the idea of me not being over it was a thought proposed by stacey. it isn't necessarily true...maybe this is just being manifested because she said it...maybe it isn't the reason i won't commit. maybe i won't commit because i just don't want to.

damnit...i just don't know anything anymore.

i wish i could just figure it all out in a second.

walking away wasn't as easy as i'd planned.