//@t//a.mental.imprisonment
//fee.ling//not a whole lot better than i did yesterday...but, shit, i'm still good.
//song.in.head//'til i hear it from you by gin blossoms
//be.cause//that was song 1 for me last night at singdammit karaoke
//be.cause/continued//i was on an empire records fix

//iron.y
yes, there is a whole lot of irony in the situation i've placed myself in with sara...the fact that i've bitched and moaned about being single and not having anyone, and now--i don't want it...

i think it all boils down to this: i'm not willing to settle down--not just with anyone.

to reiterate that whole sink-my-teeth-into-someone business, i haven't found that girl yet.

i'm gonna talk to her about it today...since she was so intent on seeing me this week, and i don't mind meeting up with her--all i know is that it's going to be awkward, she might get angry, i might get sad, and we'll get over it eventually...and i'm not planning on cutting her off completely--it probably means that we shouldn't make out anymore, since i'm probably leading her on by doing so.

if she doesn't mind me being the fuck-around-kind-of-guy, awesome blossoms...but, knowing her, i don't think she's going to be very understanding...as long as she doesn't throw shit at me, i'll be fine.

i don't think i've completely lost that whole romantic side of me that i indulged myself in when i was in past relationships, i just think it's going to take a lot to ignite it again, since past relationships have just been fucking painful in the end.

i talked to stacey, and she inferred that i wasn't over a past relationship--and i thought i was, just because of time and stuff--but, the fact is, maybe i'm not...maybe i'm not. the thing is, my inability to get over anne doesn't make me pathetic, it makes me a little more human, a little more of this typical-guy--

maybe the typical-asshole guy isn't completely insensitive. maybe it's just me.

//sink-my((teeth))_in.to_[ten]*points
so, i think it'll take a lot for a girl to make me want to sink-my-teeth into her...but...i think i have an idea of what i want...or maybe this is just a list of torrid little turn-ons...in anycase, i think i have a better idea of what i'm looking for--

[~]glasses: guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses--unless you're me. girls who can rock glasses are hella cute to me.

[~]fashion: i'm looking for a girl who can be fashion-appropriate...i'm not looking for a particular trend, as long as she can make it look good.

[~]rock out: a girl who can rock out on an instrument (i.e. guitar, bass, drums) is seeeeeeeexy.

[~]hair: this falls along the lines of fashion, but--if her hair is stylin' and appropriate to her: hell yeahh. uniqueness is a plus...i'm talking hair color, hair styling (short, spiked out, whatever).

[~]face: my idea of beauty is so mixed and open...what i love most is a unique kind of face...something i don't see every day...i know the description is vague...but, let's put it this way: make-up and lip-gloss don't do it for me...a purely beautiful face goes a long way...and you can't define beauty.

[~]shake it fast: watch yourself. seriously, a girl has got to groove...if she doesn't dance, i'm gonna be out on the floor with someone else who does dance.

[~]nerd: geek. whatever. a girl who isn't afraid to stand out and be herself. in american culture, being yourself has been equivocated to being a nerd...so, i want a nerdy chick.

[~]soulchild: i want a girl with soul...punk-rock + soul = happy boy, sexy girl.

[~]writer: i communicate best through two mediums: music and the written word (i.e. poetry), the words crafted by this woman's hands are gonna be so beautifully sexy.

[~]this above all: confidence. nothing is sexier than a confident woman. and confidence is manifested in many ways.

i feel like a dork...but, it was on my mind...so...yeah.

//t.hurs.day
so...yeahh...another entry, another entry chockful of cliches...another state of mind that becomes increasingly difficult to comprehend, but easy to others.

so...maybe i'm not looking to stay single...maybe it's just that i haven't found what i'm looking for--maybe i'm just not willing to give my all just yet to anyone, not until i find that someone...until then, i'm gonna be a single happy guy. shit doesn't get me down as easily this way.

it's not that i'm not taking as many risks...because i'm still risking some more of myself that i didn't know existed--i've become quite vulnerable in my growth.

your best bet is to stay away motherfuckER!
--a girl named malibu, a random karaoke chick singing break stuff by limp bizkit...it was just funny to hear this twenty-something lady say motherfucker so cleanly--it's hard to describe...it was funny. it was kinda like the way nerds in movies say motherfucker...it was too cute for the song...but it was funny.