//feel//something.like.loneliness...but.not

//why
i don't know why...maybe it's the whole good-bye thing mixed in with other things...

i just feel lonely, again. again...and i don't want to. i hope going to work will help me cope with this, or make me forget about it, or make me realize that i'm not alone...et cetera...something...anything.

i think i know why i'm feeling lonely...it's because i'm still longing for companionship.

right now the loneliness kinda makes me want to throw up for some reason.

i think it's all a culmination of this summer:
the quick hellos and the quick goodbyes. me getting attached too soon because i really don't know any better or how to do it differently. general feelings of unappreciation toward me.

i don't have to feel lonely...i know that people are there for me...so, i'm not really lonely...i'm just...something...and i don't know what it is.

julie's leaving on monday, and i've already said my goodbye. i think that's the last goodbye that i'll have to say this summer...which is both relieving and sad at the same time.

i haven't hung out with kristen in awhile...and i miss hanging out with her. and she's on vacation right now, so it'll be awhile until we hang out.

whatever this feeling is, i think it'll go away once i get to work. i hope it does.

i feel like i'm gonna throw up. i feel like i'm gonna cry.

what i want to do is smile...and feel someone hug me.

julie taught me to breathe...right now it just seems harder...it's like i'm trying to send it, but i've got a station backup.

it'll be alright. it's just because summer is ending, and i'm realizing more things.

i don't want to leave anything behind from this summer...

i know it'll feel better soon...it's all temporary.

i just need to breathe.