//location//gramma's crib
//mood//unfulfilled...like a puzzle missing a few pieces
//music playing//anything by dramarama
//shirt//grey polo w/maroon and baby blue stripes

//the indy training sessions
it's official now, disney owns my ass.

the indiana jones traning sessions were really fun. my trainers were awesome...i met some of my co-cast members, and all of them seemed really cool.

so...i work tomorrow 4-8:45, and i'm pretty psyched. i get to make money again. and that's always a good thing...because i need it.

//catch up and mustard on saturday
with all my early sleeping lately, i took some time to catch up with friends over the weekend.

i visited stacey and brenda a bagel me! on sat. then visited some of the drama kids on their tech day (reece: it's cool, tech didn't look that fun. i left because i needed to get going.) then chilled with chris, stacey, thomas, and natalie that same night...then finished off by seeing carie and her usc buddies @ in-n-out. it was a really cool saturday night...especially because i was deprived of sleep and got crazy in the coconut.

it's spring break, and i hope to see more people, and more of everyone this week.

i'm hoping to catch up with carie again this thursday...it should be fun.

//unfulfillment
you know that pathetic feeling i've been talking about? well, it hasn't really gone away...

i don't know...i just feel unfulfilled...like, i need to do something new...something crazy...

there's an absence inside...and i want to know why i feel that way.

it's like...i want to jump out of a plane...and wait until the last minute to pull the parachute release cord.

i don't want to feel the breeze against my body...i want to feel it blow through my body.

i want to fly.

i will fly.

if i don't...at least i can love.

//life just happens...and i'm a better person for it.
i like the way that life just happens. you can't expect life...it's just there. you can't anticipate it...you can't really plan it...it's intangible, but you can feel it.

i think that is something i'm realizing more every single day.

i think that the realization is making me a better person in the meanwhile.

in an almost buddhist way, it alleviates me of desire...kinda.

life just happens.
love just happens.
making love just happens.
friends just happen.

//jazzclub
carie asked me if i wanted to go to culver city tonight to see a band with her friends tonight...i wish i could...unfortunately
1//no money...i can barely afford the $9 entry to the club (sad, huh?)
2//i only have a half-tank...if i made it out there, i wouldn't make it back.

but...there's always wednesday, thursday, or friday, or saturday...it's spring break...i'll see her sometime this week.

breathe in deep, let it out slow
did you hear? it's all my fault again
i know why no one else knows
why i am all alone again, again
--the early november : every night's another story