//location//uc irvine, chapman, this oc university
//mood//decent...trying not to feel sorry for myself
//music playing//kate by ben folds five!!!
//shirt//plain white t-shirt

//warning: entry containing dangerous amounts of self-pity.

//spring break has begun
usually...people are excited for this kind of thing...but...um...right.

you see...people like me are an emotional mess...moody as all hell.

personally, i dread vacation breaks of any sort...you know why? because they make you realize how many people can blow you off with a weeks worth of free time on your hands.

i don't want to feel pathetic...but...i know i'm going to feel pathetic, and i already do feel pathetic.

i've got free access to the disneyland resort parks...but, it's not worth it to go at it alone.

i don't know...this self-grief is partially rooted in the fact that i have a strong conviction that i was born to stand out, and the fact is, i constantly feel like i fade into the background all the time. it's probably all in my mind, and a dangerous way to think of myself...but...damn.

vacations just make me feel really lonely...

i'll manage happiness somehow...i'd like to.

at least i know i'll make it through spring break. i think. i hope.

//i'd really like to chill
if anyone wants to chill next week, please let me know, because i've got oodles of time on my hands, and i'd really like to get out with people...chris and sean, if you're not in school and/or not working, call me. people i haven't talked to lately, i've really wanted to play catch up for awhile, now that i have th chance...call me. people i haven't talked to that much ever, i'm open to meeting new people...so, find a way to contact me.

//as much as i hate admitting weakness...
...i'm really lonely and desparate. i'm not necessarily looking for a female companion, rather...i'm looking for a friend/friends to hang out with, because i really am a fun person and funny person to chill with once i crack open my shell, and my shell has been shattered for awhile...so, get to know someone you barely know and hang out with me.

geez...i suck.

i've been on an incubus trip lately...so...yeah.

will i ever get to, to where it is that i am going
will i ever follow through with what i... with what i have planned
i guess it's possible, that i have been a bit distracted
and the directions for me are a lot less in demand.
-- incubus : nowhere fast