okay...the new year so far.

dec. 31, 02: worked a bit. went to one new year's party...the host tried setting me up with another girl, but, i wasn't too fond of getting ambushed for the set-up, so i left and went to another new year's party: lindsay's house w/josh, barb, tracy, mooni, michael, rooney, reece, brit, and pat...and it was fun. i was the sober one that night, since i picked up jess and tyler that next year. it was pretty fun...it was the most fun that i had with the drama kids in awhile...it was refreshing since it was the first night that i got to really let my hair down and not be so damned busy...although it would've been nice to get plastered with linds and mooni...but, i had work the next day, and i had to drive jess and tyler home. so...oh well.

jan. 1, 03: worked a bit. hung out with chris and sean in the evening. sean bought my interior cell phone lights for christmas...thank you buddy. it was cool...we went to the block for half an hour. then...chilled at chris' house. brit came over too. i was sean's fashion advisor for the evening, and i made him look good.

jan. 2, 03: worked a bit. went to the beach in the evening with the drama kids. played truth or dare around the bonfire. highlight: i ran around in my boxers and wife-beat on a dare, then earned ten dollars (gas money) when josh pantsed me...i was butt-ass naked for a few seconds...but, i got gas money. then, chilled at lindsay's.

jan. 3, 03: worked a bit. then, chilled with sean for a bit. got depressed over single-dom. went home. slept.

jan. 4, 03: went to disneyland with the drama kids. it was the worst trip to disneyland ever. when one person's negativity brings down a whole group...it sucks. i'm not doing that again...not if it'll be like that. then me, josh, and pat chilled with linds at her crib.

jan. 5, 03: said peace-out to josh at tu tu tango...got over being broke and had fun...then worked a bit.

jan. 6, 03: worked a bit. realized that last year to that day was anne and my first date...got depressed at work because of all the valentine's day stuff that i had to put back on the shelves...all that just made me feel really lonely...but, yeahh.

jan. 7, 03: chilled with mike minsky...that was surprising...nice surprising...it was really cool seeing him...i thought he'd disappeared from the face of the earth...not really, but you know what i mean. it was cool...then, i'll work a bit after i finish this.

a week into 2003 isn't so bad...still don't know what i'm gonna do about my b-day...but, whatever. it's a little over a week away. no worries. i'm actually happy, not over-stressed, but lonely. there's that loneliness thing.

i'd just like to have that security of being with someone that potentially loves me...knowing that there'll be someone to bake me cookies on valentine's day (or some equivalent)...someone that'll make me feel like what i'm doing for that person really matters, and something where i can reciprocate that feeling...if you've ever been in love, and you're not anymore, you're always missing that feeling...no matter how much you like being single, there'll always be a part of you that misses having someone...ugh, i'm dealing with it, at least.

there's gotta be someone...maybe miss right, maybe not...at least miss right now...there's gotta be that much around here.