i wanna see some people.

it was really cool seeing miguel after the horrid play. he got to see all the people that i've been dealing with...then we hit the block for a couple hours, then we went back to my place to chill.

porn is cool when watching in groups.

then i saw j-vo, and we went to the block. and that was cool.

shiit...in orange county, there really isn't much to do other than go to the block at orange county and chill at peoples' houses. that's kinda sad. i wanna go up to berkeley sometime and hang out...from what i've heard, it's pretty bad-ass.

christmas was chill. i got dvds, music, and video games. don't need much else. i think my parents might get me a bass guitar for my birthday...i opened my mouth too much...i should've mentioned that i want to learn acoustic first...then bass...but...i still have time to drop other hints.

it's been pretty cool opening up to my mother lately. i actually told her that i don't like orange county, and that i don't feel like i belong here. i told her that i don't know where i belong, that it's something that i'll need to figure out...it's just been cool being able to talk to her and stuff...i've never been able to do that before.

do you ever wonder what the point of your dreams are? like, why are striving for this? will it come true...is it meant to come true? what will you do if it doesn't come true? what if it does? will the dream just disappear...or will it stay with you, whether or not it comes true?

long-term destiny bugs me.

i don't like having to wait for stuff...but, it's something i have to live with...i need to start buying my eastern philosophy books (i.e. buddhism, hinduism, islam, etc.,....). once i lean how to control my desire, or do away with it...i'll be happier.

i still would like someone right there to love...or several people in not-so-distant places to mess around with...seeing how i haven't found that something...seeing how it doesn't seem immediately possible to find that someone...seeing how i don't like where i live and how i want to move away and it wouldn't be wise to commit in a situation like that...but...seeing how that all can change with one person...

you never know what you're dreaming for.