//p.lace//in_the_light
//moo.d//not_right

//a.lone
i'm not talking alone in the sense of being single, but, i'm talking about being alone, in a room without anyone around...i don't know, sometimes being alone in that sense really messes with my head, big time. i kinda get crazy if i don't have anyone to talk to at all...there's a lot of vulnerability associated with that kind of loneliness...

sometimes it just feels like i'm temporarily dead and forgotten...

it probably says a lot about me and my mental state as a whole...

i was just realizing this yesterday.

i think this is rooted in my fear of abandonment...since it seems like people have been avoiding me or ignoring my existence since the day i was born (those of you who really know me will probably get the allusion).

//vanit.y
i've been becoming quite the vain person in my thoughts, but not the way that people are typically vain. it's a shallow way to question your self-worth, but lately i just ask myself why aren't people attracted to me?

it's stuff like that that makes me feel ass-ugly all the time...

sometimes, even in a crowded room i feel dis-enfranchised socially, and i don't know why.

i'm not going to jump into some shallow ass conversation either...

people have just been seeming really artificial lately...i guess myself included.

//da.mmit
i think i just need a real pick-me-up right now...the late nights at rehearsals have been hella-exhausting...i can tell because i've been cussing more, a little more bitter, a little more distant, a little less happy.

i just need something to brighten up the week...something good to happen.

girl you know it's--girl you know it's--girl you know it's--girl you know it's--
--stephen kline re-enacting the last seconds of milli vanilli's glory days.