//mood//awake.and.alive
//current.album//meteora : linkin park

//too.hot.to.drink
okay, so, my house is getting the air-conditioning re-done because we have two stories, so we're having a separate air-conditioning done for the second floor of my house--because the temperatures can be two different extremes on two floors and it gets hella annoying.

oh, the plights of upper-middle-class life.

but, yeah...but...i was also thinking about things i really didn't need to be thinking about: the reason why i have a small ice-cube-and-salt shaped burn on the back of my right hand, things i shouldn't have asked about on friday night, all the f*cked up ways i've left past relationships. i've got reminders of everything i've ever done sprawled around my room, whether it's a small i-zone picture of a girl that i didn't want to date seriously or a shoe-box full of shattered memories.

kinda pathetic...it all kinda got into my head last night...

i'm really struggling to let go...more than i think that i should...

i'm trying not to care anymore, because i'll probably never be friends with annie again, as much i want to be her friend...i'm having trouble facing the fact that it probably won't happen.

the catalyst for this was friday night, when i asked a friend of annie's about her...and i was really happy to hear that she was doing well...but, the predominant thought was that i wished that i could have heard it from her.

i don't like hearing about people i care about from the third party, and when you have to do it constantly, it makes you look pathetic...and i don't want to be pathetic anymore...so, i've been spending time letting go of the sh*t i've done in the past...

somehow it looks like i'm still holding on.

i'm trying to let go.

i just need to face the facts right now.

but, yeah...

back to the air-conditioning thing...the thing that links this together is that i was trying to drink last night because i was having trouble sleeping with all the crap on my mind...so, i had a few sips of my beloved rum...but, it was so damn hot that i wasn't really having it anymore...so, i was just kinda frustrated and happy gilmore'd my way to sleep (it never fails).

but, hear me this: i'm not depressed.

//re.start
i usually say that i want a restart when i'm not happy with life...but, i'm pretty content with things...

i'm looking for a restart in life because i know where i want to restart socially, whereas before i didn't...

i've just changed and need an appropriate change of scenery, and i've found it.

no apologies.

seriously.

what else should i be?
all apologies
what else should i say?
everyone is gay
what else could i write?
i don't have the right
what else should i be?
all apologies
--nirvana : all apologies