you know what, i'm in college right now, but i still feel like the same high school geek. whatever, that's not really what i'm concerned with...

i want to find out how to start a band...i have no idea of how to go about it...it's kinda frustrating because i really want to start hearing my music play out...instead on some computer composing system where the guitars and electric guitars and bass sound really weird...and the piano sounds tinny...ugh.

okay...so i am still concerned about that whole high school geek thing...i just don't find myself physically desirable...i mean, i'm not the kind of guy that you see in magazines (yet...)...i mean, it's hard enough being a minority, but you rarely see short asian/pacific islander guys in television...i don't know, sometimes i worry that i won't make it in show business...that's why i'm banking on music so much, banking on making a band...because i know i was meant to be in show business...but, i don't think people will notice me (esp. in rock music) unless i have a band full of people that most of america will be able to relate to (although, i don't know if having a asian/pacific islander frontman would help)...but you know what...looking like a halfie might help to my advantage (funny thing is, i look it, but i'm not a halfie...but i dress like it, now).

if you were to put a label on me, to re-identify me so that you could classify me, you'd probably say that i'm white-washed...but you know what? i'm just as american as every white, black, asian, latino, persian, etc.,...kid my age that grew up in america.

unfortunately, we're always so quick to confuse culture with race...they are two different things. race is merely my biological make-up...it has nothing to do with my culture. i am hardly filipino by culture...as i said, i am american. if you went to the philippines, you would be hard pressed to find anyone like me there, because i am not culturally filipino. i don't speak the language, i don't carry the customs, i don't eat the food (you might think i'm missing out, but when you've been force-fed the stuff all your life, you don't miss it that much).

fine, call me white-washed...i don't care. i am proud of my identity...i am filipino-american...more like _filipino-american.

but damnit...i want my band. if anyone knows how to start a band, note me pleeze!!!