okay...the whole dating game...(i finally thought of something to go off about).

maybe the whole reason that i'm so damned unsuccessful at it is because i've spent nineteen-years denying the existance of such a game...where in the meantime, i've just ended up played most of the time. i've been raised to be a gentleman...not a player in this ugly game. yeah...being a gentleman might help, when i'm 40 and single. but i'm 19. maybe it's time to start playing...but, i don't know what the rules are, and even if i did, i don't think i'd like them...maybe it's time to make my own rules. i don't know...everything else in my dating life has thus far been unsuccessful, and damn depressing...maybe it's time to change my approach.

it's sad...because everytime i find out that a girl potentially likes me, i turn into this yippy little puppy dog that gives off the desparation vibe...maybe i just look pathetic. pathetic and nerdy. i don't know...ugh...

i haven't been feeling to good about myself lately...everything has been a blow to my self-esteem...

i just want to feel good again...

i don't want to be indifferent anymore...

maybe i'm just emotionally exhausted.

i need another good date, to be followed by another good date...and so on...instead of the one good date, then crash when i don't even know it.

i need to find a girl with a couple of good friends...and go on a kick-ass group date with her, her friends, and my buddies. that'd be ideal.

that's my big thing right now, what i generally want in a woman isn't that different from what other men look for (beautiful, smart, funny, blah blah blah)...but, my big thing is that i want a girl who i can bring to my buddies, and the fun-dynamic would be the same, if not, more awesome.

and you can see the daisies
in her footsteps
dandelions, butterflies
i wanna be kate
-- ben folds five : kate